I don't like David Hockney; or how i learned to tolerate him

(above) Hockney at his best

I don't like David Hockney. I find his work lazy and at times a bit clinical; a little bit soulless.
To me the collages are like cubism; uncomfortable pictures, with a lack of clear composition. The repeated squares from every photo created a rigid pixelated effect taking away any drama or contrast.  yes its very inventive, but I'm a bit mistrustful of inventive art and i'm also a bit mistrustful of collages, despite their whimsical charms. Inventive art is only inventive in the moment and it's not usually emotional. Worse though is the backlash of reproductions from other people, other people who appreciated the inventiveness but couldn't be bothered to invent anything themselves. Other people who are not David Hockey. I want these people to produce simple black and white photo with sharp contrasts and simple subjects then one of these again (see below) because I'm boring and I like standard photography.

An alright collage by hockney, for attempts google 'in style of david Hockney' and prepare for a mass of indifference

Architecture students are the worst, but it's not our fault. Most of the stuff we produce lacks any emotion, it's all we know. Next up are the paintings. Not the new ones, although they annoy me a bit too, but these ones (see below). I think the problem is is that these paintings both bore and scare me simultaneously. On the one hand they are meticulously composed. Every piece and colour thought through. It's very neat and well that's a bit boring. Especially when it's of what appears to be boring modernist architecture. And then on the other hand there's a lack of people and natural colour which is a little bit chilling, moreover the world it's showing reminds me of something out of a Brett Easton Ellis book and that is possibly the scariest thing I know. It's all very unnatural. 

the scariest painting known to man

So that's why as a general rule I hate David Hockney. Or at least this was the case until I saw his illustrations from his Grimm's fairy tale book. Now I find myself google imaging more of his work and actually finding it satisfyingly pretty. Still contrived, but never the less pretty. I think I hate the idea of David Hockey, however in reality he's actually all right and moreover I can't deny he is incredibly memorable. His illustrations are carefully composed, but not in an annoying way like the paintings, and the lack of colour means he's actually put in some texture and shading making everything a bit more natural and relatable. The unnerving nature of his work also works really well in the context of Grimm fairy tales so I guess now I'm a bit of a fan. Well done David Hockney.